When Your Kid Rats You Out About Your Superwoman Facade

It was 9:30 pm and the little stinker should’ve been asleep! But nooo… the minute my husband walked into his immaculate room (for the first time in about 3 months…there’s always a lego piece or Spider Man something blocking the entrance) and said, “Wow Tomás, can you help mama keep your room like this all time?” He answered, “Yeah sure…until next week when the nice lady who helped mama clean the house today comes back!”

BUSTED.

My husband, shaking his head, just chuckled and said “Finally!”

To my defense, I directed her efforts…I told her what goes here, what goes there, where the vacuum was and bought a whole bunch of cleaning stuff…new gloves and everything!

This all reminds me of a very honest conversation Patty Lennon had with her audience at last year’s Mom Gets A Business Conference and of Melody Stevens’s Chica Interview.

Patty explained that when it came to being productive as work at home moms, we need to get really honest with ourselves.

That there is someone out there who enjoys doing the things we don’t enjoy and that they would happily take our money to do them.

Melody, the Time Millionaire, has always said that we make time in our lives for the things we like and want to do. What we don’t like to do we drop the sentiment around “I don’t have time for that,” as if in saying it will make those things go away. THEY DON’T. Ask the laundry basket that was sitting in my laundry room for 2 weeks.

Confession: I HATE cleaning. Period. There, I said it. You can crucify me now. Now of course I do it…but if you “show up” at my house you might find a place to sit in my office, without tripping on some toys, maybe not in our living room. Ever been in a mine? Well, I don’t need military training…I’m good!

The truth is I had always outsourced the cleaning in my house when I lived in NY but when I moved to NJ, I was trying to do the Betty Crocker thing in our new home. I was trying to keep up with the superwoman facade: the house, the kids, the husband, the dogs, my businesses…yeah, I got this! WTF?

THAT my friend is a rat race you can’t win. That whole balancing act of ‘having it all’ is simply NOT TRUE! You can read more about how Balance is Bunk, in Jennifer Tuma Young’s book HERE.

I’ve been in business long enough to know that there are things I HATE don’t have time for. I am very proud of having created several businesses around the things that I LOVE doing, but that also bring in mulla… and cleaning my house just ain’t one them.

Listen, my oldest is 5 years old. I’ve taught him to make his bed, fold his clothes, brush his teeth…in another year I’m hoping he’ll be making dinner. The baby can take it easy for another 3 months 🙂

The truth is we need to cut the bullshit with ourselves. I give my husband less credit than he deserves with some things and to his defense, after working 16 hours, he wants to come home to a ‘somewhat’ contained environment and kids that have had another day with their crazy ass mom …not the frazzled mess I’m supposed to look like because I’ve been home with them all day.

That picture up there…I refuse to accept that that is what God intended mothers to look and feel like everyday! Hell to the no!

I’ve been blessed with the privilege of working from home, in my PJ’s some days and I L.O.V.E. it. I know a lot of other women who simply can’t do that (although I’m scheming for a way to change that). I get it.

I also know that I create what balance looks like for me. Me. No one else can do that for me. And that I need support in certain areas of my life so that not only I am happy, but so that my family is too…and cutting the BS with myself is the only way to plow through it.

All joking aside and to my point: I’m not after perfection…I am after doing and being my best. My best does not include folding laundry. My husband knows that, hell my kid knows that (now so do you!)…and that is OK.

I’ll take playing with my kids or meeting with another woman to strategize about her life and biz over vacuuming any day.

Patty, Melody and Jennifer all give amazing tips on how to feel good about cutting yourself some slack. You can watch their interviews HERE.

Are you being honest with yourself about the things that really make your life and your business flow? I’d love to hear from you.

If you are in the NJ area and need support, please come to one of ETTM’s meetings. We can help!

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