Things That I’m Afraid to Tell You

Sometimes, the ways I dealt with what was happening to me in the past were not the healthiest ways.

Today, I am grateful for those experiences because now, as a mother, I have the responsibility and hope to be my children’s greatest teacher. I pray, a lot. I meditate. I practice yoga, my children sometimes join me. I go to therapy when I need to.
Jess Constable created and published the very first “Things I’m Afraid To Tell You” list on March 29, 2012. 

It’s since created a movement around the blogosphere in an effort to remind readers that blogs, are written by real people. Real emotions drive those real people to write and they have fears -too. Most importantly, as Jess writes herself, I just want to see what it feels like to really push past my own self-imposed boundaries and share my thoughts that don’t often grace MML.”
After spending a day with some amazing women from the Ozanam Shelter, who attended Enchanted Makeover’s“She is Me” event in 2012, I felt even more compelled to share my list. After dinner, we were encouraged to take the “I am not ______” challenge. After we filled in the blank,  we took a picture holding up this card, in essence exposing a self-limiting belief. I wrote I am not scared.
Making peace with myself once more, honoring my statement by throwing stones at my self-designed + built glass ceiling… here I go:
  1. I miss my father desperately, fiercely, everyday.
  2. I don’t know how to take a compliment.
  3. I don’t forget faces, but I forget people’s names way too often.
  4. Some mornings, I have to REALLY push myself to get out of bed.
  5. I am terrified of looking at mirrors in the dark. I think that Candyman is going to appear.
  6. I’ve made peace with body, but my battle with Nutella is still not over.
  7. That advocating about mental health is an uphill battle, but as afraid as I am to continue, I won’t give up.

If I’ve learned anything up to this point in my life is that when you shine your light, you unconsciously set others free. I hope that I’ve done that for someone today as I continue to move forward exposing and honoring who I am today and always! 

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  • Vanessa, thank you for "going there"! I admire your honesty. I have my story, too. We all do. It is easy to see someone's "polished" exterior and assume they have it all together. But we all have insecurities, challenges and pain. Bless you!xoElaine

  • Thank you Elaine 🙂 I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I've discovered a whole lot more about me over the past few days and am on a mission to exploit all the wonderful things that have come from being even more truthful with myself. The women from the shelter reminded me once more that we all face fears. I choose to live in truth, in fear no longer. Vulnerability is a human emotion, I am embracing it wholeheartedly.

  • Beautiful Vanessa! Honest, vulnerable, human, and hopeful. Indeed there is a metaphor in Christian scriptures where Paul says it's on the pots with cracks in them that the light can shine through. Sometimes I think we spend more time painting and gluing our pots to pretend there are nor cracks than we do simply shining the light inside of us that is what will really inspire people and help guide each other along our paths. Beautiful post.ShastaGirlFriendCircles.comShastasFriendshipBlog.com

  • Thank you Shasta 🙂 So agree that we can learn so much from each other. Despite the bad choices we've made, they were meant to teach us something…and when we are really honest, we come out of it stronger.

  • Hi Vanessa,Robin from Savor. How courageous are YOU! But you know, all ours lists are the same as yours, just the details are different. For instance, I'm afraid to look in the mirror with the lights ON :). That's why I'm perhaps more self-revealing in my writings that many others, because at our core, we're all the same. Robin

  • Robin, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙂 Fear of judgment always seems to linger when we put ourselves out there. I've learned that the more we do it, the more we are helping others and ultimately, ourselves.

  • You have inspired me to write a blog bearing the same theme. And thank you for being willing to be naked. I understand how my readers internalize my raw messages. It is brave to be authentic. Peace, Ressurrection

  • I've always said it takes real courage to be yourself. Glad it was helpful, would love to read when you post. Thank you for stopping by.

  • Thank you for your sweet message, Vanessa. When we share our negative or insecure secrets they lose their power. When we share our strengths, gifts, and capabilities we gain strength. This has been my journey this year; shedding those old dark messages and embracing my strengths, my instincts, and speaking the truth. I'm finding my next phase of the journey is learning to do it with more grace and love. Every steps brings new peace and new insights to explore. That's the beauty of life. You get to go as far as you like! Happy Holidays!

  • Happy holidays Shannon! So true! I am on a journey to live as authentically as I possibly can, owning my flaws and loving their lessons 🙂 thank you for stopping by!

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