The Oscars and the Ugly Fact that Women (yes, adult women) Still Grill Other Women

I -as many of you I am sure- watched the Academy Awards on Sunday Evening.
I made sure the boys and my husband were in bed by 6pm! Seriously! I rarely watch TV, but am definitely a movie fan. Since I had seen the majority of the nominated flicks, I couldn’t wait to indulge in the all nighter treat of glitz and glam, lights and cameras, fashion and beauty.
The Red Carpet event began…spotting trends for hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry. In awe of all the beauty, as any girl would be!

Then at 8pm, the show really began. The movies nominated, each tough contenders in their genre were all great ones, the men looked as polished as ever and the women in their beautiful gowns looked F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S…or did they?

I had paid little attention to my phone, which really means I wasn’t on Face Book, because it was my night. But during the show and through commercial breaks I would sneak a peek, munch on some pop corn and go on about enjoying some freedom for the night. But then…reading through some comments on my FB News Feed, I kept thinking to myself, “This show is about the movies, right?”
I am 34 years old yet I admit, I must be very naive. To think that women my age and older would put out such negative comments about other women:
  • “X artist can sing, but she should lose weight.”
  • “X actress looks like she’s high.”
  • “What happened to X actress’ face?”
“This show is about the movies, right?” I kept repeating to myself. But the comments went on, and on and on and got pushed to the top of my news feed because other friends and friends of friends were jumping in to comment even more on “how horrible X’s hair looked”.
Then…and yes, this is how my brain works, I thought about the famous NYC campaign that my toddler so avidly repeats, “If you SEE something, SAY something.”
I had to say something, not to point fingers but to hopefully create a shift in the behavior that I was seeing.  Because come on, not only were the words that were being used harsh…but sitting back and watching, being a spectator to ‘making fun of others’,  is just as bad.
My high school principal would’ve used a comparison like this to explain it, “What if you were standing in a corner ready to cross the street and you saw some else screaming and yelling at an older person with a cane to hurry up and ‘get going’ or telling them to move out of the way?” Wouldn’t you say something in the elderly’s defense?And then of course comes the question, “Are you ‘hurt’ by these comments because they touch on something that happened to you as a child?”Well my friends, I have never hid the fact that  I had VERY unhealthy ways of dealing with my weight as a young girl. But I’ve made it a point to encourage the young girls that I cross paths with  to love themselves first. The noise out there is LOUD. And when these comments are coming from adult women, then it proves to me anyway, that we still have much, no actually…A LOT of work to do.

As women, we need to  band together and support one another…not grill each other because we had a bad hair day. We do this to each other and Chicas…it needs to stop.

Being a woman is hard enough…and I just think, what road are we paving for girls on the rise?

Today…making fun of someone else still isn’t ok. Placing someone’s value in how they look, is still wrong. And to see adults do it, poses the question…what in the world are we modeling to our children?

I went on to SAY something by posting the following comment:

To us girls out there pointing out the ‘flaws’ that we see in other girls: their weight, their hair, their age, their makeup…then we wonder why it’s so hard to be a girl. Choose love. It’s louder. Just sayin’ “

I was unfriended by several people…and that’s ok. But the status is still getting likes and to me, that’s validation that thank God, I wasn’t the only one feeling this way that night.
You can defend an issue, create healthy discussions (not arguments) coming from a place of love.  My hope in humanity is not lost and I know I am not alone in this fight. 
I think about my younger cousins and nieces who will grow up in the world I am helping to create today. 
I will not sit idle and watch. I will not continue to support unrealistic standards of beauty and image.
Will you?
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