The Crazy Bar Women Still Have For Each Other

The Crazy Bar Women Still Have For Each Other-vanessa-coppes-vandco

 

If we as women are still suspicious of one another, if we still have this crazy, crazy bar for each other… then we have to have those conversations with ourselves…

A few weeks ago school was out again for like the 100th time this year. After typing, “Here we go, another half-week of school hell!” as my status on Facebook, I got a private message from a friend, “I’m here all week. Kids will be thrilled to have boys over. Just let me know.”

Whether you’re in small kid stage or not, there’s tension amongst working mothers who have to juggle careers and raising children. I am still in situations where I have to actually defend being a mom. It’s ridiculous. What is this crazy bar we hold each other to? Do we expect it from men?

As the Co-founder of a women’s organization, my partner and I are always looking for ways to support women who have felt the frustrations, misconceptions, and challenges we did as we built our businesses and raised our families. Our community ETTWomen, is rooted in allowing a woman to thrive in whatever space she’s decided to seek for herself (with or without the kiddos).

In a time where women’s empowerment is everywhere you turn, you would think this post would be old news. Last week, as I prepared to move into a new and bigger office space and renovations are underway, I had to make choices that worked best for my family.

If these are conversations you’re still having, be the change maker. Here are some things you can do today to shift how we treat and talk to other women:

  1. It’s Better to Share. When you keep information to yourself, it’s actually a passive way of keeping other women down. Share the book, the mentor, the workout. You’re not being braggadocios when you’re sharing with the intention of being of service to others. It’s also never a bad thing to share when something has royally sucked. It can help you feel better.
  2. Don’t Be An Asshole. We all make mistakes. Own it. Apologize and move on. Adults talk. They don’t hide behind computers or text messages or post encrypted messages on social media or send smoke signals. We’re not in high school. As uncomfortable as it is, don’t be afraid to talk through a disagreement with another woman. You’ll both come out of it stronger.
  3. Be Yourself. We all want to be treated as equals? Let’s stop pretending. Let’s stop filtering our experiences. Let’s share the truth: the good, the bad, the ugly -warts and all. And let’s stop apologizing for who we are. It’s not your job for other people to like you, it’s yours.
  4. Be of Service. People cannot help themselves if they don’t know where to go, what to do, or where to start. Jump in and help connect the dots. It could be something as simple as sending an email introduction, making a phone call, or sharing a post on social media for a fundraiser. Most times, all it really takes it 2 minutes of your time.
  5. Support Women Led Initiatives. Buy the ticket to the event (even if you can’t go), share the post, make the introduction. There are so many small steps you can take to simply show up for other women.

It’s impossible to understand why someone else does what they do, but I firmly believe that if we took a few minutes to just listen to each other, we would be in better strides.

At our ETTWomen meetings, it only takes a minute to see that we are all there gathered with a common goal: to see each other succeed.

Why not make the ride lighter for each other and for those coming behind us?

Join us for #ThePowerOfConnections2019

 

 

Quote by Michelle Obama

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