Categories
In Between

How Your Energy Affects Your Life and Business

“The economy is terrible.” “I haven’t made a sale in weeks.” “My job sucks.” If you can relate to even 1 of these statements, I am sorry to say that you have become a victim of your own negative thinking.

Have you ever considered that maybe the only thing stopping you from having a life and business you love is precisely that, negative thinking?

Let’s get real: It’s not the lack of resources or the ‘uncool’ mom you had as a kid or the other excuses we use to justify for not having the life we want.

We all have reasons to feel bad at any time during our day. I get it, circumstances change for better or for worse in a flow of events. Naturally, we react to those circumstances just as we’ve been taught to by our families and friends.

Now you may be wondering: Does my reaction matter?

Your reaction is energy and energy is everything. Everything you see, sit on, feel–the sun on your face, your kid’s laughter, your morning jog, prayer, a great kiss…it is all source energy, from where everything and everyone originated.

You are made up of this same energy, and its frequency can be raised or lowered according to your thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Therefore, the frequencies you send out attract similar frequencies. What you put out, you receive…make sense?

Each of us has an energy sequence: negative on the bottom, positive on top.

Positive energy includes: our brilliance, goodness, divinity, inspiration, love, passion, optimism, happiness and joy (our connectedness).

Negative energy includes: our anger, depression, sadness, guilt, pessimism, sense of lack -not just from others, but from our source energy.

We go up and down on this sequence everyday, depending on our circumstances. We may think or say, “If only I had X, I could be or do X.” The ultimate joke being that if we get happy, our circumstances will change to meet us.

Moving up on your energy sequence by shifting your energy to a higher frequency and opening up to source energy connects you to your inspiration, spirituality and goodness. It changes your life immediately!

From the low end of your energy sequence you can’t even think about doing things you love, let alone muster up the energy to go out and find it.

From the high-end of your energy sequence, you’ll get new ideas, tap into your light and inspiration, connect with the people you need to see, and get into the flow of positive energy that guides you through your dream life.

So, how do you flip the funk?

The first step is catching yourself and redirecting your thoughts. Use positive affirmations every time you notice yourself thinking negatively. I love these:

  • I am.
  • My life is abundant.
  • Wonderful opportunities are coming into my life today.
  • Today is a great day because I opened my eyes.

I am notorious for using humor to approach difficult situations. It is also a very effective way to raise your energy sequence making you better able to respond to any situation.

I hope these tips help elevate you today because remember, YOU and only YOU are responsible for the energy you bring into any space.

Here’s to living fabulously Chica!

Do you have a question? PLEASE, let’s connect HERE or leave me a comment below!

Categories
Life

The Deceptive Narrator

The most powerful stories may be the ones we tell ourselves -but beware, they’re usually fiction. Brené Brown

The last month has been nothing short of challenging in both my personal and professional environments. I firmly believe that as much as you try to separate personal from professional, that very dance can consequently be more stressful than the situation you may be dealing with.

I am not going to get into the dirty details of how my life has taken a 360º turn, what I will get into is how important it’s been to listen to and tell others the stories of how we’ve gotten to where we are today.

It’s no coincidence that I picked up the September Issue of O Magazine where Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert and others get into the importance of storytelling  and how the very act of listening is where we turn for encouragement in how we live.

You see, stories are the glue of what we are. They stitch together what we become. Our ability to tell them is fundamental to how we celebrate and examine our lives. Sharing our stories reminds us of what we believe in and helps us make sense of a fickle world.

According to neurobiologists, our brain turns into a carnival when we tell our stories; lights switch on in our heads. Through the simple act of telling we are reimagining ourselves. This happens even more spectacularly when we hear the stories of others.

We tell each other what’s happened to us not only because we want to know we’re worthwhile but because we want others to feel worthwhile too. Everything could be taken from us this instant: our home, our identities, our health, our loved ones -but our stories remain.

Our stories are also about self-preservation. You see when we feel threatened, we run. When we feel exposed or hurt, we find someone to blame. We even blame ourselves first before anyone else can. This is where ‘The Deceptive Narrator’ comes in. This unconscious storytelling leaves us stuck: We keep tripping over the same issues and when we fall, we struggle to get back up. We tell ourselves lies and we believe them.

The fabulous news is that this is also where resilience comes in. We have the ability to rewrite these stories by challenging these confabulations. The truth is we just have to be brave enough to get dirty with ourselves. Brown explains it as reckoning with our emotions. When you do, you can change your narrative. She gives 4 steps to do just that:

  1. Engage with your feelings. You don’t need to know exactly where the feelings are coming from, you just have to acknowledge them.
  2. Get Curious About the Story Behind the Feelings. Ask yourself: Why am I being so hard on everyone? What happened right before this Nutella craving set in? Why am I obsessing about what Samantha said? While this step may be difficult, know that the only way to get to the truth is by pushing through discomfort.
  3. Write It Down. Get your thoughts on paper. A story driven by emotion and self-preservation doesn’t involve accuracy, logic or civility. If it does, then you’re not being completely honest.
  4.  Get Ready To Rumble. Like I say ‘Let’sRoll!’, this is where you get dirty. This is where you ask yourself questions like: What are the facts? What are my assumptions? What do I need to know about the others involved? What am I feeling? What part did I play?

For me, this past month has been one of radical introspection. I’ve been rumbling with my shame, my blame, my aggression. I’ve been reckoning with acknowledging that these emotions exist in me more than I’ve been willing to admit, but not to others…to myself.

Interestingly enough, you might learn that you’ve been masking shame with cynicism or that being vulnerable and asking for what you want is more enticing than basking in resentment. Resentment bottles up a world of confabulations that you begin to believe.

Confronting yourself, your fears, your aggression, shame and blame can be difficult. Getting to these truths is uncomfortable, but it’s the road to meaningful change.

Owning our stories can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it…Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

Brené Brown

Categories
In Between

“The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It.” + FOMO

“How could you not know about Samantha’s dad? It was on Facebook!”

Insert look of WTH? How did you NOT know that Samantha’s father won the lotto, that Amy’s starting a new business or that Fernando (your high school friend’s little boy) just started walking?!?! HUH?!?!

Apparently, everybody out there is living it up -except you.

The FOMO plague…it’s here and I realized that, even my kids have caught the FOMO bug.

Listen, it’s hard not to. With a swipe of your mobile device it’s revealed to you that EVERYBODY else (except you) is doing something A.W.E.S.O.M.E.R. than you are (Yes that’s a word…ask Tomas). I mean, it never occurred to you that you could build a snowman in the desert, until you saw your BFF from elementary school crowd funding  for the device she invented to make ice in the desert, right? Why didn’t you come up with that one?

And at that moment, FOMO swoops in, twerks right in front of your eyes and then waves and laughs at your inability to keep up.

It’s no coincidence that I came across an article written by Martha Beck in O Magazine back in 2013. Beck explains that we may argue FOMO to be healthy motivation. But the first of FOMO’s 4 letters is fear -the opposite of healthy. Fear can get us moving, but never happily. Living in fear doesn’t improve the quality of your life; it haunts us, makes us tense and actually shrivels our internal organs. So how can we live within the FOMOsphere? Glad you asked.

Martha gives 3 phenomenal strategies that I want to share with you:

1. Realize that FOMO is based on lies. The life that you think exists for others, doesn’t really exist. The internet and media bombards us with an endless montage of momentary highs disguised as everyday activities. Evaluating other people’s real life experiences by their carefully curated instapics or selfies is like trying to navigate with binoculars that only show mountain peaks. When you feel FOMO, right there and there, remind yourself that what you are seeing is likely not to be happening. The whole truth is that many of us will spend hours mustering up the energy to take a shower today. No one wants to take a picture of that. But THAT there is the truth.

2. Fight FOMO with FOMO. Our feelings and behaviors are created by the words we use. Redefine the meaning of FOMO:

  • Feel Okay More Often
  • Find One Magnificent Object
  • Focus On Melting Open

3. Stop. When you feel FOMO creeping in, STOP. Close your eyes, breathe, center yourself. Realize the present moment and the blessings around you. See abundance, not lack.

What you’ve really been missing is today…that heartfelt talk with your high school girlfriend over coffee, reconnecting with your partner, tickle sandwiches with your kids (you should try them, they’re awesome!).

Listen to the whispers of your real inner voice that is telling you to chill, to be open and then you’ll realize how much is already available to you.

Have you caught the FOMO bug? What have you done to stop it in it’s tracks? Would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below.

I delve deeper into how to flip the funk and repel FOMO in my book. You can get it HERE.

Categories
Motherhood

Self-Care Makes You Better, Period

Self-care is not a selfish act, it’s an act of self-love and self-preservation.

I often wonder when did working and/or becoming a mother become synonymous of “I’m not worthy”? Listen, “my hips don’t lie” anymore and I make it a point to schedule and get in a manicure and the bottom line is:  It’s not ok to forget about you. 

 

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A post shared by Vanessa Coppes (@vanessacoppes)

Here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t:

1) Self Care Improves Your Emotional Health: Taking time out to care for yourself can remind you and others that you and your needs are important, too. It conveys to others that you value yourself. This can contribute to long-term feelings of wellbeing.

2) Self Care Makes You a Better Caretaker: When you neglect your own needs and forget to nurture yourself, you are at danger of deeper levels of unhappiness, low self-esteem and feelings of resentment. Also, when you spend your time only taking care of others you are at risk for getting burned out on all the giving, which makes it more difficult to care for others or yourself. Taking time to care for yourself regularly can make you a better caretaker for others, specially your children.

3) Self Care Releases Stress: Giving your body some special treatment is a natural way to relieve stress. Spa-related activities like massage and warm baths have been known to sooth even small colicky babies like nothing else. These activities continue to be effective tools for relaxation as we get older.

Now go, what actions will you take TODAY to take care of yourself?

Do you have a question? PLEASE, let’s connect HERE or leave me a comment below!

Categories
In Between

We All Have a First

Yesterday, at a workshop for The Entrepreneurial Think Tank for Moms, we were graced with Melissa McDowell’s blogging expertise. As a blogging enthusiast myself, the information was exciting because I love sharing my love for blogging, specially to my ETTMoms!

Blogging, vlogging, getting yourself and your business ‘out there’…the common thread at last night’s workshop was fear.

Seeking reassurance from other people is a dead end.

Reassurance needs to be found from within you, not from others.

We all have to start somewhere.

We all have a first! You cannot run without walking first. You start by turning on your belly, then you build up your muscles to army crawl, then you crawl…eventually you walk and then run.

To get here, I had to start somewhere… and so much has changed since 2009. Here’s a look back at all my firsts:

1. My first piece of jewelry (featured in the post above)

2. My First ‘professional’ headshot (my husband took that pic)

IMG_0300

3. My first blog post

Mommypreneuring is serious business…

As if being a stay-@-home-mom wasn’t overwhelming enough…here I go, starting my own business.

The last year has been an amazing one. Hard, but truly amazing. In between diaper changes, teething and wire-wrapping I’ve managed to be mom, wife and jewelry maker…and still kinda keep it “together”.

I cannot complain or take for granted one second of the ride. I’ve been blessed with a healthy baby boy, a supportive husband, and a jewelry business that has allowed me to express the creative being within me.

Many sleepless nights, cuts on both hands, burns from glue guns and yes…bottles and sniffles…helped create enV by Vanessa Coppes.

This path has allowed me to discover that women really are superwomen. That yes, we can do it all…and still manage to put on lipstick (some days).

The most important recognition has been that dreams do come true. If you really work at it, and are honest (with yourself and others) every step of the way, your efforts will be rewarded.

I know I knew this and more before…but when you are inspired and your spirit is uplifted in the sweetest way… you feel capable of holding the world in your hands.

4. My first VLOG (video blog) You can also watch here:

So my friends, take the leap of faith, put your message out there, let yourself be seen. How else are you going to help all the people who are out there waiting for your awesomesauce ?

BTW: I finished the FIRST draft of my FIRST book!!! Scared? Totally! Excited? Even more so! My goal is to have it ready for sale at my FIRST business conference. I hope you will join me on this journey: http://wp.me/P3hHQt-jm

Categories
Life

Ego: Be Aware + Decide to Let Go

One of the hardest things to let go of for some people is their ego. I am not exempt from it. I work on it everyday.

I am sure you can identity when ego is acting up in others: those who always think they are right, who control and those who think and act like they are above other people. There’s been a lot of dialogue lately amongst some of my close colleagues and friends about ‘ego’ and how it affects how we interact with each other.

Yeah, I go there with my friends. If you know me well…you know I am more open to talking about things like these than I am about shoes. (Geez…I know).

Reading some Deepak this morning, I came across an excerpt where he describes the three things the ego is doing all the time:

1) the need to control,

2) the need to be approved, and

3) the need to judge.

He adds, “Be aware of them every time they come up and decide to let them go.”

I know that it may be difficult to do but I have found that  meditation and prayer have  helped me identify when those feelings arise.

When I decided to live what I call a fabulous  life, a life filled with abundance, child like wonder and awareness all while being my perfectly imperfect self I learned that I am constantly evolving, growing, learning from myself and others.

When you decide to go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue…you can reach a state of bliss, joy and yes, live fabulously.

How do you practice awareness? Has your ego held you back? I’d love to hear what you do. Leave me a comment below.

Categories
Life

3 Steps to Finding Abundance in Your Life

Do you look at the glass as half way filled or half way empty? If you’re see it empty, you can change the cycle. Here are 3 steps you can take to find abundance in your life:
Step 1: See the world as an abundant, providing, friendly place. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. When you see the world as abundant and friendly, your intentionsare genuine possibilities. They will become a certainty, because your world will be experienced from a world that provides rather than restricts. You’ll see a world that wants you to be successful and abundant, rather than one that conspires against you.
 
Step 2: Affirm: I attract success and abundance into my life because that is who I am. This puts you in harmony with your Source. Your goal is to eliminate any distance between what you desire and that from which you pull it into your life. Abundance and success aren’t out there waiting to show up for you. You are already it, and the Source can only provide you with what it is, and, consequently, what you already are.

Step 3: Stay in an attitude of allowing. Resistance is disharmony between your desire for abundance and your beliefs about your ability. Allowing means a perfect alignment. An attitude of allowing means that you ignore efforts by others to dissuade you. It also means that you don’t rely on your pervious ego-oriented beliefs about abundance being a part of or not a part of your life. In an attitude of allowing, all resistance in the form of thoughts of negativity or doubt are replaced with simply knowing that you and your Source are one. Picture the abundance you desire freely flowing directly to you. 
Categories
In Between

I AM HERE and I Am Living Out Loud

As you may or may not know, I am on a journey to finish writing my book. My book’s title is “5 Steps to Fabulous: Choices for Living Beautifully, Inside & Out”.

Since I started talking about it a few years ago, many of my colleagues and friends have encouraged me to embrace the process…you know, the one of telling your story. Everyone has one to tell.

The more I work on my book, the more excited I get, because in sharing my story I continue to heal.

Here’s the thing…when you’ve been abused, have suffered from depression and have lived in dark spaces that  you later realize exist only in your head…you are only able to get to a better place when you speak about those things out loud. When other people who share similar feelings and who show you, that you’re not the person you thought yourself up to be (you don’t have to believe everything you think)  knowing that you’re not alone is quite liberating.

When I told a friend about my book her question to me was, “What makes you think you have the know how to tell others how to live a ‘fabulous’ life?”

Great question and a few years ago, I would have let that question break me down. But  I pointed out to her that her question is precisely why and my know how.

You see, thinking I was broken, I spent too many years living to please others, too many years thinking of other people’s feelings and needs before my own, too many years questioning my existence.

Several years ago, I faced the demons in my head…the monkeys, the crazies…whatever you choose to call them…and through prayer and A LOT of self love my book details the choices I made to live what I now consider to be a fabulous life.

As I do here on my blog, I share with you  what worked for me, but above all…how it’s YOUR life and YOUR choice to decide how you live it.

So, my know how is my journey, my journey is my why.

I also know that in sharing your story…you set others free.

Onward Chicas! To living fabulously!

Categories
In Between

The Synergy of Giving + Receiving

The world we see reflects our internal frame of reference. If we live scarcity, unfairness, drama…that is what we project.

Think of how much more good we’d do in the world if instead of projecting and reacting, we extended and connected?

We’d have better relationships, less stress, ultimately more love and happiness. We’d actually be able to see and feel this in/from others, we’d be able to give it and be better able to receive it.

You see, life is a 2 way street…it is both a blessing: to give and to receive.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer