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In Between

Why Being Too Nice Can Actually Be Detrimental To Your Wellbeing on PIX 11

You do everything for everyone all the time. You give and give and give and never ask for anything in return. You try so hard to make everyone else happy. Does this sound like you? Are you always going out of your way to keep the peace?

 

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We all want to be considerate and thoughtful, but when we only speak or act in ways we think other people want us to because we need them to think we are nice, is a complete disservice to yourself AND them.

Here are 3 reason why:

1. Being too nice keeps you from having close relationships.

When we don’t speak up or show up as who we really are it actually keeps us disconnected and feeling lonely.

No one will be able to connect with you in an honest, deep, and meaningful way if you are not yourself.

People thrive on connecting with REAL people. We want and need real. And yes, real sometimes can get messy, but it’s human.

2. Being too nice leads to a victim mentality.

It takes courage to stand up and say, “This is who I am, this is what I need, and this is how and what I can and want to give.”

That’s a better and healthier approach than keeping inventory about how many times you’ve been nice to others and/or feeling ripped off if other people don’t treat you the same way.

You are responsible for yourself. If you want or need something, it’s your responsibility to voice that. We can’t expect others to read our minds to see how much we think they owe us because of how nice we’ve been to them n the past.

3. Being too nice makes you a stranger to yourself.

When we navigate life trying to make everyone else happy and never consider our desires, we are rejecting and neglecting who we really are.

It’s not always about you, but it’s also not ever not about you.

If you never allow yourself to play an active and equal role in your relationships and in your life, you will never give yourself the opportunity to appreciate your true self.

Lesson: Practice being more genuine and authentic with others and yourself. Practice sharing your thoughts, opinions, and ideas…and here’s the big kicker…do it even if some people may not agree with you.

Categories
In Between

If You Think You Are Beaten, You Are

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not,
you don’t.
If you’d like to win,
but you think you can’t,
It is almost a cinch that you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will. It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before you can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster wo(man);
But sooner or later
the wo(man) who wins
Is the one who thinks s(he) can!

Categories
Biz

Be a BELLA Boss, but make it fashion ✨ client meetings at @buttonwoodnyc ✔️ where it’s at in NYC 🗽

 

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Categories
Motherhood

Healthy, Sustaining + Easy to Make Snacks For the Entire Fam to Enjoy on PIX 11

Welcome to my kitchen 👩🏻‍🍳 Thank you PIX11 for having me on today sharing these healthy, sustaining + easy to make pick me ups for the entire fam to enjoy 😋

Our brains are beautiful and powerful, but they are needy. And one of those needs is constant energy. Any time you go longer than 4 to 5 hours without eating, your body’s energy levels can crash significantly.

This list of snacks is perfect for both bringing to work and running errands. Each has a combination of nutrients to keep you going faster and stronger.

 

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Apple with peanut butter. When an energy emergency strikes, grab n apple and smear some PB on, and all will be okay. Obviously. Peanut butter makes everything peanut better.

Popcorn. Isn’t life  a movie? Get poppin’ to put some pep back in your step. Air pop some kernels with coconut oil to stretch out that boost of energy until your next full meal.

Veggies and hummus. Hummus is the glue that keeps soul together. Dunk veggies like carrot sticks, sliced bell peppers, or celery for a nutritious kick that will sustain you all the way to dinnertime.

Roasted chickpeas. Spice up your life with this super easy recipe. Season rinsed and drained chickpeas with coconut or olive oil, salt and pepper or seasoning of choice, and throw them in the oven for about 15 minutes at 450°F. You can thank me later.

Hard-boiled egg. Eggs are no yolk. They pack plenty of protein, as well as the vitamins needed for the body to produce energy. Hard-boiled eggs are easy to make in advance, store, and reach for as needed.

Categories
Biz

We Are All Legends ☺️

I am a legend because I own who I am + am here to serve 💛 sharing more BTS @soarnjwomen with an interactive social booth for @bellamag.co 💛 check out our stories to hear from these amazing women expressing why they believe they are legends too 🙌🏽

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In Between

I will not betray who I am ✌🏽

God knows how hard I’ve worked to get here.

 

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#bellamagazine #ettwomen #bella360

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In Between

No matter what. Happy Friday 💛

There was a time in the life of every hero, champion, master, + tycoon, when they said to themselves, “Fuck it. I will not wait any longer.”

And no matter how near or far away their dream then seemed, they began to take action. Every day. No matter what.

No matter what. Happy Friday 💛

Categories
Life

LET GO OF PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT READY

It’s not an attitude of arrogance or pride, but of congruence, you’ll keep loving them but with another perspective, from another level of understanding, understanding and awareness.

It’s the hardest thing you’ll have to do in your life, and it will also be the most important: stop being attached to those who aren’t ready to love you.

Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change.

Stop showing up for people who are indifferent to your presence.

Stop giving your love and energy to people who aren’t ready to love you back.

I know your instinct is to do everything you can to win the good thanks of everyone you can, but it’s also the drive that will steal your time, energy, and sanity.

When you start showing up for your life completely and completely, with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone is going to be ready to find you there.

That doesn’t mean you have to change who you are. It means you have to distance yourself from people who are not ready to love you.

If you are excluded, subtly insulted, forgotten, or easily ignored by the people you spend the most time with, you are not doing yourself a favor by continuing to offer them your energy and life.

The truth is, you’re not for everyone, and everyone isn’t for you. That’s what makes it so special when you find the few people with whom you have a genuine friendship, love or relationship: you’ll know how precious it is because you’ve experienced what it isn’t.

But the more time you spend trying to force someone to love you when they’re not able, the more time you’ll be depriving yourself of that same connection. He’s waiting for you. There are billions of people on this planet, and a lot of them are going to meet you on their level, with the vibration of where they are, connect with where they are going.

… But the longer you stay engulfed in the familiarity of people who use you as a pillow, a back-up option, a therapist and a strategist for their emotional work, the longer you stay out of the community you crave.

Maybe if you stop showing up, you’ll be less wanted.

Maybe they will forget you completely.

Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will cease.

Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for days and weeks.

Maybe if you stop loving someone, the love between you will dissolve.

That doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship. It means the only thing that sustained a relationship was the energy you and only you put into it. That ain’t love. That’s attachment.

The most precious and important thing you have in your life is your energy. It’s not your time that’s limited, it’s your energy. What you give each day is what will create more and more in your life. What you give your time to is what will define your existence.

When you realize this, you’ll start to understand why you’re so anxious when you spend your time with people who don’t bring you, and in jobs or places or cities that don’t suit you.

You’ll start to realize that the most important thing you can do for your life, for yourself and everyone you meet is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else.

Make your life a safe haven where only people who can care, listen and connect are allowed.

You’re not responsible for saving people.

It’s not your responsibility to convince them they want to be saved.

It is not your job to show up for people and deliver your life, little by little, moment by moment, because you pity them, because you feel bad, because you “should”, because you are obliged, because, at the root of all this, you are afraid that you do not return the favor.

It’s your job to realize that you are the master or mistress of your destiny, and that you’re accepting the love you think you deserve.

Decide that you deserve real friendship, true commitment, and complete love with people who are healthy and prosperous.

Then wait in the dark, just for a moment….

… And watch how fast it all starts to change.

-Pauline Nguyen

Categories
Biz

The Real Flex Is Being In Love With Yourself 💁🏻‍♀️

The real flex is being in love with yourself 💁🏻‍♀️

Styled by @ceyloneboothegrooms ✨ @ The Knot Gala, 2022

 

 

Categories
In Between

Writing My First Book Was A Labor Of Love

Sam: “How much is your autograph worth?”

Me: 😒

Writing my first book was a labor of love. Today, it’s a family affair.

To the company that saw the value in my story and wanted to share it with their staff, thank you for the support 💛 Grateful for these moments.

 

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