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Why Being Too Nice Can Actually Be Detrimental To Your Wellbeing on PIX 11

You do everything for everyone all the time. You give and give and give and never ask for anything in return. You try so hard to make everyone else happy. Does this sound like you? Are you always going out of your way to keep the peace?

 

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We all want to be considerate and thoughtful, but when we only speak or act in ways we think other people want us to because we need them to think we are nice, is a complete disservice to yourself AND them.

Here are 3 reason why:

1. Being too nice keeps you from having close relationships.

When we don’t speak up or show up as who we really are it actually keeps us disconnected and feeling lonely.

No one will be able to connect with you in an honest, deep, and meaningful way if you are not yourself.

People thrive on connecting with REAL people. We want and need real. And yes, real sometimes can get messy, but it’s human.

2. Being too nice leads to a victim mentality.

It takes courage to stand up and say, “This is who I am, this is what I need, and this is how and what I can and want to give.”

That’s a better and healthier approach than keeping inventory about how many times you’ve been nice to others and/or feeling ripped off if other people don’t treat you the same way.

You are responsible for yourself. If you want or need something, it’s your responsibility to voice that. We can’t expect others to read our minds to see how much we think they owe us because of how nice we’ve been to them n the past.

3. Being too nice makes you a stranger to yourself.

When we navigate life trying to make everyone else happy and never consider our desires, we are rejecting and neglecting who we really are.

It’s not always about you, but it’s also not ever not about you.

If you never allow yourself to play an active and equal role in your relationships and in your life, you will never give yourself the opportunity to appreciate your true self.

Lesson: Practice being more genuine and authentic with others and yourself. Practice sharing your thoughts, opinions, and ideas…and here’s the big kicker…do it even if some people may not agree with you.

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If You Think You Are Beaten, You Are

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not,
you don’t.
If you’d like to win,
but you think you can’t,
It is almost a cinch that you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will. It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before you can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster wo(man);
But sooner or later
the wo(man) who wins
Is the one who thinks s(he) can!

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I will not betray who I am ✌🏽

God knows how hard I’ve worked to get here.

 

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#bellamagazine #ettwomen #bella360

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No matter what. Happy Friday 💛

There was a time in the life of every hero, champion, master, + tycoon, when they said to themselves, “Fuck it. I will not wait any longer.”

And no matter how near or far away their dream then seemed, they began to take action. Every day. No matter what.

No matter what. Happy Friday 💛

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Writing My First Book Was A Labor Of Love

Sam: “How much is your autograph worth?”

Me: 😒

Writing my first book was a labor of love. Today, it’s a family affair.

To the company that saw the value in my story and wanted to share it with their staff, thank you for the support 💛 Grateful for these moments.

 

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Today’s Motivation: Women Supporting Women

When you’re going through a low, it takes literally every cell in your body to get you to do the next thing.

My motivation today? Supporting a woman who in a very short time, has given me so much! I look + feel FABULOUS + thank God for this weather 🙌🏽 See you tonight @novemberroseboutique

 

 

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Sharing Your Story Is Heart Work

I was invited to speak today to a private corp Celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month 🇩🇴 I’m always so grateful to be able to share my journey. Even more humbled when I receive the feedback:

“Vanessa,

Thank you for your time today, for sharing you and having such a wonderful impact on our associates. The feedback was amazing and resonated across the “room.” We appreciate you and would love to stay in touch with you on any future opportunities.”

Sharing your story is heart work. It’s not easy work, but it might be the most important thing you’ll ever do.

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If You Never Go, You’ll Never Know 🏝 – Travel to Placencia, Belize

We’re in Belize BELLAs ✈️ Day 1 recap of a trip worthy of your time 🇧🇿 @SirenianBayResortAndVillas is an award-winning, all-inclusive beachfront resort nestled on the golden sands of the Placencia peninsula in
southern Belize.

From the Maya Mountains 🏔 forming a majestic backdrop to the west, to its
cerulean blue ocean waters 🌊 and pristine beaches, Belize offers its natural beauty, tropical wildlife and ancient history to visitors looking for the perfect getaway. Keep following our EIC’s journey, we have so much more to show you ✌🏽

 

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Productivity Tips on PIX 11

There’s a lot to be learned from the tactics of successful + incredibly busy individuals on how to better organize our own days. I’m back on @pix11news this afternoon sharing 5 things you can start doing today, to increase your productivity:

  1. Pick 1 task to focus on. One thing many successful people have in common is the ability to focus on what matters most. Pick one thing and do that one thing. Block out distractions by Time Blocking.
  2. Set a strict time limit on meetings. In general, people don’t need as much time as they ask for. Meetings can be time vampires. So, be cut-throat when it comes to managing your time so you can focus on high value tasks.
  3. Set up productivity rituals. Yes, that means getting up earlier.  Research shows that mornings can make or break your day. I swear by waking up earlier than most consider normal. Because of this, there are tasks +my self-care rituals that are done by 6am. Setting up rituals that automate behaviors, make us more productive – without depleting our energy reservoir. 
  4. Supplement for better immunity + overall wellbeing, which increases productivity. Increasing energy, immune support  by taking  natural supplements like Aloe Vera, magnesium, calcium and Vitamin D increases overall health, immunity, and sleep. All things needed to be able to tackle your to do’s with energy + clarity.
  5. Outsource personal chores. Highly productive people are selective about how they expend their time + energy. They don’t waste time or energy on tasks that others can do. Do a cost/benefit analysis of how you spend your time and see if it’s worth offloading some repetitive tasks so you can focus on what will bring value to your company.

Your productivity is your life made visible. Protect your time, your energy, your business, your life.

 

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You Can Always Make More Cake

I’ve always believed that from a scarcity mindset, when you think that helping other people hurts you because you no longer have the advantage you see the world as a giant cake.

Every piece of the cake you have is cake I don’t have. Meaning that in order for you to win, I must lose.

Instead, from a perspective of abundance, there is not only one cake. There is actually an infinite number of cakes and if you want more, you can make more cake.

From my upcoming book #MakeMoreCake 🎂
📸 @michellebehrephotography

 

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